Didn't i tell you....

So one of my favorite things about God is how he speaks to me. With the exception of two times, i have not herd him speak to me in a direct verbal way. I want to add that when he spoke i listened, and did what i felt like he wanted me too and what resulted was the most amazing transformation of life. One was during Christmas break of my third year at college. Basically i was asking him how much longer would i have to continue to get let down and experience difficult times and for that matter, why am i even having to go through these issues and times in the first place. Immediately, i herd him say, cause i want more of you, all of you, you're not done and I'm not done with you. The other time was just shortly before that, right after some of the issues that led me to that last question. Again i was asking him, ok why? I knew that everything was happening for a reason, but had no clue why and i was pretty ticked cause i figured God owed me some of the desires of my heart, after all i'm a good kid. Well anyway, in the mist of talking to him, he literally said, Pine Cove, go. So i am not kidding, i knew it was a camp but that was all, so i googled it, and never looked back. I really feel like writing a book titled, 'Everything i Learned about God, I learned from an evil 11 or 12 year old', j/k but seriously.

I can already tell that this is gonna be a two parter.

So that was kinda the back story, i just felt like telling that might help understand what i'm about to say next. God speaks. All the time. I know i don't hear him as often as i should cause i'm too busy filling up my heart with noise. So if i say 'oh, i'm not hearing God speak' it's not an issue of God has lost my number, it's an i'm not listening thing.

When God speaks to me, it's usually him revealing his truths to me about who he is. This comes in lost of different forms, and the base of this is the study of his word cause without it, i would not be able to differentiate between God's truth and Satan's lies. I cannot begin to explain how important this is. Satan is the one who tells 11yr old girls to cut themselves with knives ( saw that a camp, and you want your heart to break, talk to someone who has bought into Satan's lies.) John 8:44. God wants our hearts, he died for it.

So what i want to share is what he has said to me recently,

I am on your side, didn't I, didn't I tell you...

Sure, call me lame, whatever, but i really enjoy colbie caillat's music. That line is from her song realize, and for some reason, i think this is the guy in me, but i don't think much of guy/girl relationships on this one, but i hear that as the cry of God's heart after me, and all of us for that matter. I kinda get this picture of this intensely personal God who has chased us and hurts when we hurt and hurts even more when we dont turn to him. I kinda feel like it fits right in where in John 6 most of Jesus's disciples leave him after he tells them 'I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty...and whoever comes to me i will never drive away...that i shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up on the last day." John 6:35-39. This is what caused most of his disciples to leave him! So Jesus finishes tell them about how his body will be broken and his blood will be spilt for them. As all these men are leaving him, Jesus turns to the few who have stayed and asks, "You do not want to leave me too, do you?" And i don't think this is Jesus challenging them, but this is him desperately longing to reconcile with his creation that turned from him, and he's hurt that after he's told them how he is gonna make it all right again, they leave, they walk away, again, just like in the Garden when Adam hides from God.

And this isn't just some new version of God in the new testament, this has been his heart beat from the very beginning. In Jeremiah 3, God tells Jeremiah to tell Israel, "How gladly would i treat you like sons and give you the most desirable land, the most beautiful inheritance of any nation. i thought you would call me Father and not turn away from following me. But like a woman unfaithful to her husband, so you have been unfaithful to me, O house of Israel". In fact, from the very moment we separated ourselves from God in the Garden, God tells us his plan of sending a boy to crush the one he led us astray.

And that is one of the things i love about God, he speaks, and he shows me his truth, even if it comes from Colbie Caillat's song.