Sunday, January 18, 2009

dear diary,

I usually don't come on here to just write my feelings like a diary, but i feel the need to share tonight about what God is teaching and showing me. I have been living and working in my hometown for about 6 months now, and it has been quite the adjustment. I'm not the kind of person who wants to be close to home, but that was where God had opened doors for me.

God has taken me down a path i never could have imagined and why i thought that would change once i graduated college i dont know. It's been so hard to be content with everything, i guess thats part of who i am, but can i say that trying to find fulfillment in my circumstances is the suck. And here is the worst part, i have it great. Great job, great family, great house, nice car, good friends, great health, etc..., but satan has his way of twisting it all. And here is what he as been telling me, he's told me, yeah i have great things here, but look over there, see how much more money they are making. See how much nicer it is where they live, can you imagine how happy you would be if you could just get there?

So what ends up happening is im robbed of all my joy for where i am now cause i start to buy into these thoughts, and now i begin to pursue these 'goals' because with them is happiness, . . . . right next to the pot of gold guarded by a mythical unicorn. But God (which i have said before could be the most beautiful words in all of scripture EPH 2:4) has been so merciful through it all, guiding me and carrying me when i couldn't see the way. Let me be clear, it's not like i've gone astray and fathered many sons, i have been seeking him, but i had this junk with me, and until i brought that to God then God wasn't gonna deal with me.

I guess what i am saying is i've been getting real honest with God lately, and its been so good. I was listening to a John Piper pod cast and he was talking about John the Baptist, and i heard the verse, And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace (JOHN 1:16esv) and it was just so true, and beautiful. I hate my flesh, i hate this broken world, i just wish i could dwell completely with Him the way i am suppose to. In him is life, and it is so draining to try it on my own but i do it all the time. I love 2 Cor. 12:9, But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

i'm weak...

sorry, but im hooked on Lecrae, and this is probably his best work yet...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MllhC0qyEjY

Sunday, January 4, 2009

All Creation Growns

From time to time, the worlds events just get to me. Some day i just want to wake up and turn on the news and not find murder, war, death, abuse, sickness and famine. I wish we could just live in peace. As a christian, i know that this cannot happen. So i find my hope not in world peace, or cures for cancer or utopias or even hip new politicians and old cotton topped ones, but in God.

I found rest in the knowledge that when i turn on the tv and find all these horrific things that it only leads me closer to God and only deepens my hope and longing for Him. Since the fall and until Christ comes back there will always be horrible things (matthew 24) and no matter how educated or political or worldly or how much we want peace it will never come, how arrogant is it for us to think that we can fix our present situation. it doesn't mean we don't try, as christians we are called to love and suffer for everyone, but a finite man cannot resolve eternal problems. ONLY God can bring peace through the restoration of man with himself and the final eternal destruction of sin and evil (just read Revelations). If you say that we can make peace permanent and that if we can just get this person elected or just cure this disease then things will be right and if you put your trust and hope in man you will be disappointed! The writers of the NT constantly urge and command us to put our hope in things ETERNAL, because this world is broken, and it will fail you, and if you say that it hasn't failed you then please, leave your bedroom and go outside.

When a woman gives birth she goes through immense pain. Why? When the child comes out of the womb it comes screaming and crying, why? Or have you ever heard a coyote howl? Romans 8 tells us that all creation groans, and we groan inwardly, so when you understand that, then birth pains, babies crying and coyotes howling start to have a much deeper meaning. It is all a groan that says we were not meant for this world, and that until it is restored we will find suffering the norm. So i look to Christ for my hope. My faith is in him. You cannot have faith in Christ without hope in our redemption by him.

Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
Romans 8
"22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
2Co 4:17 - Show Context
For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,
2Co 4:18 - Show Context
as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
2Co 5:1 - Show Context
For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.
Col 3:1 - Show Context
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God
1Pe 5:10 - Show Context
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

Man cannot save man, if they could we would not need God. We cannot fix ourselves. My hope is in peace not yet seen, in a restoration not yet realized, and a joy not yet fully understood.

this song just resonates with me...