UNwoven

Just the other week i had one of those moments where i began to think it can't get any better than this. Everything was coming together, relationships were great, job was going fantastically well, weather was good, family was good, it was as if my little world was just the way i wanted it, and i thought how good is God that he would bless me with all this. And i really think God has a sense of humor, i know he does, because for the past month or so i have been praying that my joy would continually come from him, so naturally as i pray this it would be that all these little facets of my life come together in my perfect little world making it so easy to look around me and find joy from my circumstances. And now i find that some of the strands of my rope are coming undone. And can i be honest, i hate it. So much to the point that i caught myself the other night asking God why, why again do i come so close and yet things still slip through my fingers.

At that point the light went off in my head, about a lot of things. The first thing that came to mind was what God must be thinking when i complain about these things. How can i, who on my own can do nothing, be upset when things that i feel that i deserve dont come about. Everything i have that is of any value i cannot lose and i cannot touch. John Pipper says it well in his book, Brothers we are not Professionals, "Salvation is a gift of God(eph 2:8). Love is a gift of God (1 thess. 3:12). Faith is a gift of god (1 Tim 1:14). Wisdom is a gift of God (Eph. 1:17). Joy is a gift of God (rom. 15:13). All these things are what we all long for, but too many time i look for it from things that aren't eternal, and it brings to the place where i question God, and if he knows whats best for me. But God, (which are possibly the two most beautiful words in the bible Eph 2:1-10) in his mercy, his Spirit in me, reminds me of who he is even while my flesh questions it.

Going back to my prayer about my joy be found in the Lord. If you every read the new testament you'll see that the authors are always talking about keeping your mind on the eternal things of God and get rid of the things which belong to our earthly flesh ( Col 3:1-11). Its no wonder cause if i can get to the point where i can live this out, then Satan can't touch me, cause he can't touch God's truth, see Job.

One other of the big things that popped up was David and his psalms. I think for the first time i began to understand how in the same moment he could cry out to god about how you can feel forsaken yet in the next moment praise his steadfastness and justice and truth and mercy and love etc... David wasn't an idiot, he was human, who knew God and knew his promises were true, but that didn't keep him from crying out in his darker moments. In fact, it is a testimony to who God is, and who David was that in a darker times we still find ourselves turning to God and clinging to his promises. So i guess all this to say I still have to be taught the hard way, but i hope every time that it brings me closer to Him, and i have to say, that right now, even though not everything is perfect i feel so close to my savior.

One last thing, a few weeks ago i had probably the best friend i will ever have call me. They didn't call to just say hi, but they called to call me out. I could tell it wasn't easy for them to say what they needed to say, but they did it so well, and their heart was so in the right place. It was awesome, and so i just want to say thanks, again!