There is this story in the gospel of Luke about Jesus visiting the home of Martha and Mary. The whole point of the story is to explain how sinful cleaning your house is. Jesus clearly sides with Mary after Martha gets upset that Mary is listening to Jesus instead of sweeping the floors. Luke 10:38-42

Ok, it's really that easy to get the bible to say what you want it to say. Once during my freshmen year of college i was in an english class and we were having debates about random topics. One of them ended up being public prayer in school, so there would be two teams and each would be assigned a position, either for or against the issue. During the debate one of the members for the anti prayer side quoted Jesus when he said "But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father in heaven, who is unseen." Matthew 6:6, he thus made the argument that even Jesus did not want public prayer in school ( I think it was Joel Olsteen now that i think about it).

Ummm, clearly this has nothing to do with prayer in school, to be honest i personally don't care about the subject, we have bigger issues than forcing people who dont know Chist to pray to him in public while we sit back and let the poor and hungry and hurt and addicted and lost fend for themselves cause how dare we actually fulfill the role of Jesus while he's gone. Jesus, in Matthew 6, was talking about the issue of pride and how the Pharisees used prayer as an ego trip. In short, Jesus was ticked cause prayer was being used to glorify people instead of himself, God.

So all this to say is be careful what you take as truth, check it with the scriptures. Just because something sounds catching or makes you feel good doesnt mean it has anything to do with the truth ( politicians, pastors, people, everyone). One more thing, have you ever noticed that people claim truth when they agree with what it says, but it's an agenda or a conspiracy theory when they don't. For example, the guy making the point about school prayer in our debate, took this Jesus quote as a statement of truth, but i wonder about the part where Jesus dies on the cross to save us from this broken system of a world and to unite us with him the way it was always planned since before the beginning of the beginning, i wonder if he claims that as truth too? I wonder if very many of us do as well, i think if more of us did, this place might look a little different.

So be critical, be open minded, have integrity, consider all viewpoints, try to relate with people. Yes, i think you can do all of those and still claim Christ as the one real and ultimate truth, which is why it is so important to know what you believe and why, otherwise you will fall for this trap of the world telling you unless you believe everything (except Christ) then you are a backward, redneck, uneducated meatball. And since i going completely random tonight, i was thinking the other day how usually people who have a problem with God subscribe to the darwin theory (theory= maybe there is a chance that this idea could possibly be something close to what actually might be true). Darwin says that the strongest survive, basically, right? Then those same people are the ones who cry and scream about some bird who's home is being torn down by humans right? I just think thats funny cause at least christians aren't the only ones who dont know how to live what they believe, but we sure do get blasted for it. I wish we would get blasted for telling someone about Christ, or selling all of our stuff to help out the less fortunate, or adopting kids whose have no parents cause they died of AIDS or at least giving an insignificant amount of money ($32 a month) and some prayer and a few letters, which means food, hope and an education for someone somewhere, or something so radical like that, that Jesus might have suggested it. I for one, will say that i fail when it comes to this, but i working on being more like him.

This was not at all what i intended to write but the tangents just came out.

Also, i want to say that i am not at all claiming to know how to be a christian better than anyone else, or to have it figured out. I just know the One who does. I just have ideas which i test with scripture but if you ever see something that doesnt fit with what the gospel says, call me out, please. I just like to think about these kind of things so i started writing them down.

sorry for the endless runons. they happen.

if you are like me and want to do something to help children, i suggest compassion international. Fantastic ministry that feeds kids, gives them educations, hope, and shares Christ with them all over the world. 32 dollars, a few letters, prayer is all it takes to help someone out.

Blindfolded: Part II

This is part two. What makes part two become part two, it is the fact that there is a part one. Part two will make much more sense if you include part one.


In the other section i talked about that mission trip in Honduras were we came together and shared our junk, and how through that i truly felt that the gospel had meaning for one of the first times in my life. What if, this was how we related to people who don't know Christ. What if we had an understanding of what grace and mercy truly are. Paul did. I just got a lesson in that several weeks ago from a tshirt. I was at Pine Cove helping set up for camp. I loved that week and one of the fun parts for me was looking at every one's shirts, trust me, when you get several hundred college christians together, you get a lot of interesting shirts. So i saw this one guy who's shirt had with the name 'Scum of the Earth Church' on it and i just thought it was interesting but didn't give it much thought. Well a few weeks latter i was reading through 1 Corinthians for the first time, and i kinda learned something about God and the church by accident.
'We have become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world.' 1 Cor 4:13b
This is how Paul ends his description of his fellow apostles. All of a sudden that cute shirt i saw was laden with some thick truth. I may be guilty of miss applying this scripture but it seems that instead of thinking of ourselves as better than everyone, maybe we should humble ourselves. Maybe we should check our pride at the door of our daily lives. I can't say what this looks like for everyone, but for me i can think of so many things in my life where i failed at this that it hurts. It's so lame to think i missed it so many times, but I'm trying to do better. It's not easy and if you have ever been around me you'll know how much i struggle with this.

Have you ever tried to love someone that isn't as good as you. Or, have you ever tried to relate to someone who has messed up where you haven't. If you are like me, probably not cause if you really believe that those previous statements are true then you are probably not in a place to try to love other people. When i was on that mission trip and we were all open about our junk, it became so easy to love and relate cause we were all on the same level and we weren't being fake and focusing on putting up walls of happy faces. instead we were too busy trying to figure out how to live life to bring the God who chased after us glory. So this part about being on the same level brings up a good point that i believe is essential to learning how to live out the gospel in a broken world. Once again Paul says it quite well,
'As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you use to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings or our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in our transgressions, it is by grace that you have been saved.' Eph 2:1-5

When you understand this, and you understand that everyone human has at some point been disobedient and it is only by grace that God showed us mercy, HOW CAN YOU THINK YOU ARE BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE! The only difference between me and joe six pack is that i am on the right side of the blood of Christ, in the form of a free gift that i did not and cannot earn.

I just wish christians would just sit down and listen to people. Maybe somewhere in that conversation we would find out why that person is the way they are, chances are most people don't plan on drug abuse or becoming addicted to sex. I bet we would learn a lot. I bet somewhere in there we could talk about some of our junk too. Then maybe we could build a friendship built on 'common junk sharing'. Maybe in the mist of the friendship that person would ask us how we could over come our junk. We could talk about how Christ helped us put our lives back together and how its not easy but its better, its not a quick fix but its better than chasing the world. And we could do this without shame cause there is nothing to hide, instead of condemning that person we actually tried living life with them, in the same way Jesus would. This doesn't mean we condone their sin. Not at all, but we share common ground. I bet that would be the first time that person had ever met a christian who didn't look down on them or write them off. I wonder what this looks like when some of our churches now include weight rooms, book stores, cafes, coffee bars, and athletic facilities. What an awesome way of being the arms and feet of Christ, building walls so that we don't have to mix with the unchruched. No wonder we are the butt of jokes on tv. Come to our church and you wont ever have to be around anyone who is different and might make you live out your Christianity. No wonder we think we can only tell people about Christ on mission trips far away from home. I'm pretty sure that the Bible says 'to be in the world not of it', but not 'be in the world only while driving to chruchcityUSA'. Our sports teams need christians, our schools need christians, our coffee shops need christians, our businesses need chirstians, we have to live life with people. Not because we are better but because if we don't, how will they know? By no means am i saying that God is limited in how he moves, i just think that the 'unfixed' are much more likely to come to know Him when i can live out my life with them, together.

Blindfolded: Part I

So i cant think right now. I have tittled this section Blindfolded and i know what i want to say but i don't know how to say it (Wow that came out well, almost like you woldnt know that i have been trying to write for the past half hour). What i want to say is how as Christians we are so caught up in our own self righteousness that we forget what being a christian is about. Its gotten to the point where i am afraid to call my self a christian to new people i meet. It's like it's a bad word, i kinda feel that it is or at least that it has been robbed by religious people and agendas and superhappymegachurches that preach the feel good gospel or even those people that stand outside abortion clinics holding signs that have words like God or Jesus on them but have nothing at all to do with them.

Here's the point. I don't think people have a problem with God or Jesus, even those who eventually killed him couldn't say anything bad about him. What is someone who says i don't believe in God really saying? Have they met God, did they sit down with Jesus and have a conversation about his plan to rescue humanity and restore it to a place where everything is right again, a place without death and sickness and sweat and hunger and the way he was gonna do it was through the greatest act of love and mercy ever, and then did that person say, 'no, i don't think so i'll take alcohol abuse which will lead to losing my faimily in 5 years instead, you're too hypocritical and self righteous. I don't think so, it probably goes something more like this, 'yeah, i know some 'christians' and i don't see anything in them that makes me want anything to do with this Jesus thing.'

Am i right? If we are christians then doesn't that mean that the holy spirit is in us? Does that not mean that until Christ comes back we are suppose to be his representatives here on earth? I am so sick of hearing the gospel robbed of its meaning, it all just makes me so tired. For some reason we think that church is a place to go and fix ourselves, like it's some weekly self help session. Do we not all go to churches where they have series called, 'how to pray better' or '5 steps to a deeper walk', really?!? Not that by going to church these things wont happen, but if we could accomplish these things with self help tutorials and five step programs don't you think that somewhere in the gospel we would find these. shouldn't the sermon on the mount be in bullet points??? What's even better than this is when we are around other Christians, we all become so happy and perfect. We hide are stuff so people wont know about them cause god forbid we share our junk and let other people help us, or maybe even help others who are also struggling, but we are way to selfish for that, we cant look bad, i got fixed when i was saved (this very much is speaking about myself right now).

I remember when i first learned that other people who claimed Jesus were messed up just like me. I was in Honduras on a mission trip with about 30 guys and girls from a&m, i mean i had herd other guys talk about lust and stuff like that before, but this was the first time i woke to the fact that everyone is screwed up, which makes us need Jesus so much more everyday. So every night two of us would go up after some sweet music and signing and give our testimonies, one guy and one girl, in front of the whole group, i was stupid and volunteered to go. The whole week, every night were tears and sadness, joy, tough moments and a load of honesty and the whole thing was so good. I think 4 of the 5 or 6 girls that got up talked about self image issues like eating disorders or addiction to exercise cause they weren't skinny enough, others talked about bad relationships and how some of us miss placed our since of self worth and tried finding it in boy and girlfriends or sports or grades or making our peers and families happy. I remember sitting there think my gosh, you are so beautiful how could you ever see that and think that. Others talked about bad childhoods and deaths and divorce, relationships that were way too physical. Every night we would talk about this stuff and it would just come out and we all had different junk, its was like we became the great band of the we got junk. What makes all of this so beautiful was there was healing there. One of the leaders from Honduras talked on the last night, and he talked about this chair that we would all go sit in while talking and he called it the pain chair. The he talked about the week Jesus came to Jerusalem to die, it's called the Passion. Then he talked about why its called the passion, the word passion means suffering. Literally the death of Christ defines the word passion and it was good in that moment to know that in the same way we suffered, how much more did Jesus, thats why he did it that way right? He showed us that he can understand our pain cause anytime one of us feels rejected and hurt he can turn to us and say 'i've been there, i was rejected and hurt too. Is he not the God of the rejected and hurt? I feel like anyone would have turned to Christ if they could have been a part of what went on in that week, there were no agendas or self help steps, just a bunch of junkies living together to bring glory to our King. That week we helped build an orphanage, we played with and held children who's parents died of AIDS, kids who were starving(and not the i havent eating in 6 hours starving, but the, my belly is swelling cause im dying kinda starving) we related to people, we loved each other. That week was the gospel, we didn't need five steps just one, ok two, love the God and love his people he created. I think ill go to church one day and say all you need are two steps to a better life; love God and love his people then walk right back off. I wonder how many of people would come back the next week.

this was long, sorry. But lets call this part one, cause i have more to say but i need sleep and who wants to read this much anywho.

Beginnings

Yep, so i descided to begin blogging. I started once several years ago and it went for like 4 posts, so lets hope for better this time.

So my purose for this is to put down my thoughts of God down on paper (imaginary paper) cause i have a dream to write books one day. I trully feel that is something that has been put in me cuase i can't stand to wirte, and i can't even spell well, so this has to be from Him cause its too ironic.

To begin i want to give you my story or least explain what it looks like, which somewhere along the way stopped being my story but His. I wasn't really raised as a christian but i though i was at the time. My first time to go chruch on my own (i.e. not christmas or easter) was my sophomore year in highschool. I was there for several reasons, none of which included a closer walk with christ. Somehow that year i became a chirstian, i finally undestood that i was that good kid whose good stuff was infact not good at all. I needed Christ to stand for me. That was seven years ago.

Two years ago at camp i was involved in a group where we were asked why we were Christians. Ummmmmm, i don't want to go to hell, duh. I missed it, i missed it completely. After spending some more time on what the point of being a christian was, i figured out where my answer went wrong, or at least fell short of the point. I think the best way to explain my answer is like this... Picture a blind date right, I would assume that going on a blind date i wouldn't expect much, maybe some good convo or a cute date or a fun awkward evening but not much more than that. I would go into the date expecting a to get a certain outcome, much in the same way when i first went to church i went expecting a few friends, something to do, and to look good. BUT what if this blind date was followed by another, then another, and after some time i fell hopelessly in love with this girl and i gave everything to pursue her becuase i knew in her i was complete and that life was given meaning. That's how i see my journey with God. I came into it blind and got so much more than i thought or could have ever wanted. I have fallen for Christ, he has taken me and given me life. He has showed me that the answer to why i am a christian, the purpose of my creation is to glorify him. Once i understood that, everything seemed to make much more sense.

Don't get me wrong, just becasue i said everything makes more sense, doesn't mean my life has been made easy or that i am continully in a glorious mood. In fact resently i have been in a battle inside myself, so when i read what Paul wrote in Romans 7:13-25
The Conflict of Two Natures
"14For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin.
15For what I am doing,I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.
16But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good.
17So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.
18For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not.
19For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want.
20But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.
21I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good.
22For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man,
23but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members.
24Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?
25Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.
I love this, it's so honest and raw. Paul wasn't playing church, he was to busy working to further the kingdom of God. He knew that fellow believers didn't need to hear about how good they should be or how the prosperity gospel will work if you just pretend to be happy enough. I love Paul, he's to dumb to be smart and God counted him worthy, which gives me hope and encouragement.

All this to say, 8 years ago, i would have laughed at you if you had said i would have done the things i have and struggle to be who i am all in the name of Christ. But that's what you get when you try to date Jesus, he's better. Oh and i am still fitting with my flesh but i have hope in enternity and i will still fall but i know that Jesus will carry me home everytime, that came with the whole dating thing. This is why i titled the blog the BEAUTIFULfall cause i have fallen for Him, it hasn't been easy or allways fun, and that is what makes it beautiful.